| Finally... |
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cheerful |
] |
I'm going to see Jordan next week.
I hope I don't pee myself from excitement.
WHEEEE!
<3
|
|
|
|
[] |
OMFG I LOVE LISA SO MUCH! LISAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I HOPE YOU READ THIS BECAUSE IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU DID AND THEN WE CAN TALK OVER MY LJ.
Or I could bitch and piss you off... Either way...
♥♥♥
|
|
|
| I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS!!! |
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crappy |
] |
My heart is aching. And it's not for the normal reason of Jordan living 1000+ miles away....
It's the same reason why a little part of my summer was complete hell.
Yes, it's you, you bastard.
STOP HURTING EVERYONE AND MOVE TO BULGARIA! I PROMISE YOU, YOU WILL NOT BE MISSED!
I need comfort.
::sigh::
|
|
|
| YAY! |
[] |
Sorry, I didn't feel like using a cut. >> I'm a bit lazy and pressed for time. o.o
|
|
|
|
[] |
Have I lost that little spark of happiness that made people like me? O.O I'm not emo, in fact, I'm completely content today but...
I dont know. I feel... kinda empty inside.
Hey, does anyone actually want to read my novel? Because JON hasn't?
|
|
|
|
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crappy |
] |
I don't fucking care anymore. They can forgive you and be all chummy with you again if they want, but I don't.
This is the last time I let you hurt me for defending those who I love.
You know who you fucking are. And don't call me anymore looking for sympathy and forgiveness. Take your grovelling to someone who cares.
-Pooka
|
|
|
|
[] |
|
I'm sick with APPREHENSION.
|
|
|
| So happy~~~~ |
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
In a state of euphoria. |
] |
You know, when I heard it yesterday, I was happy, and I thought that nothing could bring me down.
And then my mom had to bust out and tell me that I was a complete failure as a person and as a daughter. And that no one could ever love such a horrible person like me.
And that made me sad. Blew out my little happy candle.
But you know what? After having myself a good cry, and a couple of punches at the wall, I slept, forgot a bit of it and then got online today and read the message for myself.
It's made me happy. Very very happy.
Is it possible that I've fallen in love with a cleverly assorted group of letters?
<333 Pooka.
|
|
|
| LEMO. |
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
LEMO. |
] |
So, let's see how my week has been going so far.
Monday: Uhm... Monday. What the hell happened on Monda-- OH! I went to school with a syringe and squirted people (mainly Nancy) with the ice cold water from the water fountain. Then we had a Study Hall in Spanish, very light work in Bio, finished a benchmark in English, and a bunch of questions from the book in history. I guess it was an okay day.
Then, on the bus, I just sat squished against the bus seat while Kelsey ignored me to talk to the guys on the bus. I mean, she's annoying but I love her like anyone would love a little sister. But I'm starting to think that the fact that we go to a small school and she's getting increasingly well known, is going to her head. Either that, or I'm an attention craving whore, and when I'm not the center of it, I get lEMO.
Tuesday: Went good. Jon and Travis got together (I like to think it was mainly because of me. ^^) Then, I was feeling all lonely and such, and you would think that my BEST FRIEND would be... I dunno, eager to lend some words of comfort, but you know what Nancy said when I told her that I was feeling lEMO?
"You're just jealous 'cause I <3 Chelsea, Jon <3's Travis, and you <3 yourself with your right hand."
You know, it would have been funnier if I wasn't feeling so bad. But you know what, I'm not going to waste my time and energy being mad at Nancy. I could never truly hate her, no matter how deep she cuts me.
But Jacob called me pretty, and, coming from the guy I USED to like, I guess that made me feel okay.
Uhm...
Wednesday: Fine. I still feel like crap. But there's nothing anyone can do about that, right?
I would put what's been bugging me so much, but I don't want SOMEONE to read it and then think that a certain person needs to know about it, and then send it to said person.
Jon's the only one who knows about it right now. And he's the only one who I know, wont go BLABBING it.
Nothing came out of it Nan. It just made me sound like a damned stalker. That's all it did.
But like I said, I don't want to waste my time and energy.
-Pooka
|
|
|
|
[] |
1. Smoked a cigarette - Gross
2.Smoked a cigar – ...Grosser
3. Crashed a friend's car – Nope.
4. Stolen a car – Nope.
5. Been in love - -blush-
6. Been dumped- Nope.
7. Taken shots of alcohol- Naah.
8. Been fired - Noooooooooooooooope.
9. Been in a fist fight – Too many.
10. Snuck out of a/your house – Cant. Paranoid.
11. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back- I fear that that's what's happening now. T___T And I'm not sure why.
12. Been arrested – >.>
13. Made out with a stranger - Almost.
14. Gone on a blind date – Nope.
15. Lied to a friend – Once.
16. Had a crush on a teacher- OMG MR. REEDER.
18. Seen someone die – On TV and in Videogames.
19. Been on a plane – Once
20. Thrown up in a bar - Nope
22. Miss someone right now - -sob-
23. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by - Yep.
24. Made a snow angel – Never seen snow
25. Played Dress Up - All the time.
26. Cheated While Playing a Game – It was Candyland.
27. Been Lonely – Yes... I always am... o.o Lemo.
28. Fallen Asleep at Work/School – BCIS.
29. Used a Fake ID - Nope
30. Felt an earthquake – Nope
31. Touched a snake – SLYTHERIN PRIDE!
32. Ran a red light - Nope
33. Had detention – o.o yeah...
34. Been in a car accident – Nope
35. Hated the way you look – Too often.
37. been lost – Yep (OMG I LOVE THAT SHOW!)
38. Been to the opposite side of the country – -wants to move east-
39. Felt like dying – Once again, 8 with a knife to my throat.
40. cried yourself to sleep – Yeah
41. Played cops and robbers - Yep
42. Karaoke – EWW NO!
43. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't – Yep
44. Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose - Yep
45. Caught a snowflake on your tongue - Nope
46. Kissed in the rain - I want to.
47. Sang in the shower - Yep
48. Made love in a park - ...Virgin power!
49. Had a dream that you married someone - -blush- Lemo.
50. Glued your hand to something – o.o yeah...
51. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole - Chainlink fence...
52. Worn the opposite sex's clothes – Yeah.
53. Been a cheerleader – When I was three. o.o
54. Sat on a roof top - I danced on it.
55. Talked on the phone all night - Got in a shit load of trouble for it too.
56. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? - Nope
57. Played chicken fight- Yep
58. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on - Yep
59. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger- A lot
60. Broken a bone – Nope.
61. Had a 3-some? - Nope. o.0
62. Laugh so hard you cry – A lot.
64. Cheated on a test – How do you think I got into HCHS? JK JK!
65. Forgotten someone's name – A lot. u.u
66. Been kicked out of your house – -sad little pooka nod-
68. Played a prank on someone - HELL YEAH!
69. Played in public with your significant other? - What significant other?
|
|
|
|
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
1. Name someone with the same birthday as you.
-Michael Micarrol. He drools a lot.
2. Where was your first kiss?
-In front of Travis's shed.
3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?
-Heh... yeah...>.>
4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
-I TACKLED Travis at my party... does that count?
5. Have you ever sang in front of a large number of people?
-If I did, it was without my knowledge.
6. Whats the first thing you notice about the preferred sex?
-Eyes, height, hair, shoulders. ....shoulderssssssssssss. Oh and boob size. I don't date guys with a bigger rack than mine (which would make it really gross.)
7. What really turns you on?
-Rollllllllllleeeeeeplaaaaaaaaaaaaayinggggggggggg
8. What do you order at Starbucks?
-Uhm... I think a Caramel something or other.
9. What is your biggest mistake?
-Making that LJ post a couple of weeks ago. >.>
10. Ever hurt yourself on purpose?
-Physically: Not for a few weeks. Mentally: -shrug- EMOtionally: Always. T_T
11. Say something totally random about you:
-Nancy look at that Mercedes!
12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
-I've heard Christina Ricci, Salma Hayek, and Dolly Parton. >.>
13. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
-You do realize who this is right?
14. Did you have braces?
-I have the good teeth in my family. ^_^
15. Are you comfortable with your height?
-Well, my neck starts to hurt from having to look up all the time...
16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?
-Told me they love me....?
17. When do you know it's love?
-When your friends have a problem with it.
18. Do you speak any other languages?
-My grade in Spanish is a 75. And I carry around a Japanese dictionary. -shrug-
19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
-No, I tan beautifully on my own. ^^
20. What magazines do you read?
-Shojo Beat
21. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
-Yep. My daddy's been married twice since my mom so... -mumbles- Thats two... and then I went once for my g-ma's b-day... 3x!
22. Has anyone you were really close with passed away?
- ...-sob- TRAAAAAAAAAAAVIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSS KRUEGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! -soooooooooobs- (No, not my ex.)
23. Do you watch mtv?
-Occasionally for music videos.
24. What's something that really annoys you?
-Bad spelling/grammar/chat speak
25. What's something you really like?
-Guys who use semicolons. ^.~
26. Do you like Michael Jackson?
-Nope.
27. Can you dance?
-Haaaah. No....
28. What's the latest you have ever stayed up?
-23.5 hours
29. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?
-When I had a knife to my throat when I was eight... Yeah.
30. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
-Never been to the hospital/ER
31. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?
-Depends on who it is, and how much of my time it will take up.
32. Does the furniture in your house have an identifiable theme or motif?
-Hand-me downs. >.>
33. When's the last time you can remember being profoundly happy?
-When I was RPing... Or when Jon told me about his little date. :D
|
|
|
| The thought on everyone's mind... |
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sick |
] |
You know, everyone thinks that their love will last forever. Some of them actually do, and some of them don't. But, the one thing I'm always thinking of is:
How long will it last? I'm strong willed and make my own decisions, but how long will a relationship last before abuse happens?
I'm not scared of dying. I'm scared of feeling any more lonely and hurt than I already do. I don't want to waste my time in something that isn't real.
I want it all to be real. I want to be a more severe schizophrenic (my schizophrenia... yes I do have it... is only brought on by yelling and being told I'm worthless. No hallucenations yet...) to where I make up my own little perfect world and live in it... When in reality I'm a fat nobody, rocking back and forth inside of a little padded cell.
That sounds like the life.
-cough- I feel icky.
<33333 Pooka.
|
|
|
| >.> |
[] |
|
So Nan... Did I make you nervous? ^________^
|
|
|
| I hate people who are obsessed with hell. |
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 aggravated |
] |
I was at a party this weekend (Madi's) and it was fuuuuuuun. But it really made me realize that the youth of america (and possibly parts of Europe) are nothing but POSERS.
I really hate it when you ask someone for... a number or something and this is their response:
SIX SIX S*X! (I have a phobia about actually putting those three numbers together).
These little Gothic wannabe posers need to commit mass-suicide or something.
"I'm so hurt, I want to die!"
GOOD! I'll fucking help! I mean, all these little posers who say that they're going to kill themselves by cutting or popping pills know that they'll never do enough to actually DIE and/or STOP BREATHING! They need to grow up and get lives! It's obnoxious as hell!
But, for the ones who CUT and FLAUNT IT, you're not real cutters. No seriously, I used to know several actual cutters. The kind who don't WANT anyone to find out about them. Flaunting your scars is POSER-WORTHY.
So... next time you feel like cutting yourself, do us all a favor and remember this:
Its down the road, not across the street.
Because then, maybe I wont have to hear you bitch. And you can get closer to your best friend Satan and live in hell in eternal damnation.
Fucking Satan groupies.
NOTE: This entry is probably all bitchy and such because of my lack of sleep. Just discard it or something. I DID mean everything, except for the mass-suicide thing. I can get in trouble for that. o.0
-eats a hotpocket-
<33333 Pooka
|
|
|
| Don't feel like writing. |
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
My party was the shit, but I really don't feel like writing about it.
I'm not in a good mood today. I was this morning, but I'm not anymore.
It's not my grades, its not my parents its just...
-groan- I really don't want to talk about it. I mean REALLY don't want to talk about it. But if you need an answer, lets just sum it up in one word:
HEARTACHE.
Yes Nan, this is my emo entry for the month.
|
|
|
| Wooo wooo. |
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
ALRIGHTY. Tonight is my parrrrrty. And I know, that by saying that, I've probably pissed off about four or five people who WEREN'T invited. Don't be a bitch and take it personally, I just either:
1. Didn't want you to come because you're a superficial asshole who enjoys flaunting your new girlfriend.
2. Reached the amount of people I was allowed to have (20) because SOMEONE had to put the invite in her clear freaking binder!
or 3. Haven't seen/actually talked to you since HOBBY and I only invite people who I have actual contact with.
Now, that doesn't mean that I've FORGOTTEN all of my old friends. In fact, here's a list of the people who are coming/were invited that I knew before highschool:
Travis
Maria
Jennifer
Allison
Madison
Kelsey
Alex C.
JUST BECAUSE YOU AREN'T ON THE FUCKING LIST, DOES NOT MEAN THAT I DON'T KEEP IN TOUCH WITH OLD FRIENDS. KAPEEESH? (Gosh, did I spell that right?)
Now, another thing I feel like... not bitching about but... TALKING about -lildevilishpookagrin- is why its bad to hurt peoples feelings. So gather round kids and grab a beanbag chair because Pooka's got something to say (and the length of it depends on how hungry I am)....
1. Hurting peoples feelings HURTS OTHER PEOPLE. Yes, thats right. It hurts EVERYONE involved, no matter how indirectly. I, am the indirect source. __________ hurt JONATHON and NANCY and there are two things wrong with that:
a. I have to hear Nancy bitch about it.
b. I have to hear Jon bitch about it.
Therefore, Pooka is hurt. 'Sides, me and Nan are so close our organs ('specially the bladder) are conjoined. So if her heart hurts, my heart hurts, and I get angry when that happens.
2. People will start to hate you. Yes that's right. When you hurt someone, they tell their friends, and their friends tell their friends, and so on. Soon, you will be the most hated SOB in school, so watch your back, bitch.
3. You lose everyone's trust. How can people trust you if you're just going to hurt them again, hm? Personally, I'm through talking to __________. I'm not sure if Nan and Jon are but... -shrug-
NOW. I know that I wasn't hurt DIRECTLY and that I haven't talked to ___________ for a while. It might sound stupid that I'm the one ranting longer about this than Nan or Jon are, but you know what?
I'M DOING IT FOR THEM.
Wow, I feel so happy. That wasn't even an angry post. That was more of a... nonchalant post made while I was in a sense of euphoria. ^______^ I should go eat and clean the bathroom.
NANCY COME AT 6!!!!!!!!! (call me though) >.>
-Pooka
-flies away-
EDIT: Oh, the moonbounce WAS confirmed, and is coming in an hour. ^^ Wear jump-worthy clothes Nan. No skirts... unless.... Well, it IS my birthday ()>.>
|
|
|
| EL OWE EL |
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chipper |
] |
WOOOO! HOORAY FOR KAITLYN! I LOVE MY POOKA PANDA HAT AND MY BED-BUG NAMED PETRI AND MY LESBIAN TAGS! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY KAITLYN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
kilt_fetish's journal